I love to create. Art and writing. Even at my work, this I enjoy crafting a good report, a clean spreadsheet. I like building things. I love a good story. So it stands to reason that I always wanted to write. Not that I always have, but it’s always been a dream. But except for the lucky few (maybe), it is a difficult, fairly thankless road. My wife thinks I’m crazy to have a hobby that makes me depressed on a regular basis, as rejections come in for stories that I have spent hours, days, months, or even years on (I’m not always the most productive, granted, so my years might be another’s weeks). I crafted a fun story late last year, with a cool world, cool ideas, and cool character (I think). It had a neat twist, and had reasonably good reception at OWW. And it was rejected for the anthology it was written for.
And that hurts.
It was a crazy high profile anthology, for full disclosure, with high profile authors. New York Times best sellers anchoring it. Only a few slots open. I knew, even before the response, that it was unreasonable to believe that the story would make it in. Yet… I kind of did. I think it was a good story. Sigh.
I know the motto you have to submit to get accepted, that 100% of stories that aren’t put into the world never get published, that you should have a rhino thick skin and play the numbers. But getting rejected also throws off my writing confidence and enthusiasm. It can stall me for days, or longer. I got rejected Friday night and haven’t completely shaken off my depression. Granted, a tough day at work didn’t help and I’m feeling a little under the weather, too.
So forgive my whining, my lack of fortitude, my bad weekend. But I think it’s unrealistic to assume that no one has them. Most writers do. It comes with the writing life. I just wish it didn’t.
Tonight I’m doing some art instead. Still creating, but not trying to drum back up that writing confidence. Waiting for that bruise to fade, and the well of confidence to fill back up (warranted or not!)
Hope your weekend went better.
The featured image is a sketch I made for the StoneDragon book, which is slowly plodding along. I actually really like having the art to go along with, even to inspire me as I’m writing. I’d like to do some more coloured pieces, but we’ll see what time allows. This image is Karen Waters, the daughter of a sea god, a god who is losing a battle and hiding from his enemies. Karen will take a foolish but brave action which sets everything in motion…